Chile has changed my heart forever!!

Hermana Zelaya and Hermana Webb

I don`t even know how to start this email. I have so much to say and I don`t really know where to start. I have so many things going on in my head!  I came down today after my thirty minute nap and told my roommates that I needed to organize my emotions because I have no idea where they are going.  I feel like there are so many of them and they are all moving so fast that... I am kind of caught...  

J_ is doing great!!  I love her so much and her family.  We did an NDH with an awesome family in my ward and it went great!  The husband participated more and we got to try to teach the kids. I say try because (he, he, he) they were kind of crazy.  But that is okay! That is how FHE are supposed to be, right!?  A_ participated more too and so that was really exciting.  We talked about the spirit.  And we played the game where you blind fold the kids and have everyone yell and try to distract them so they would go for a different road that was not the road that the sweet spirit who was whispering in their ears was telling them to take.  It was a great lesson and they were all going to come to church but they all got sick.  I'm pretty sure they will come next week. 

M_ is also progressing!  She is finally reading her scriptures and praying.  I feel like she is finally on track for her baptism which makes me happy!  She is a sweet heart.  Her family kind of continues the same. I wish they would change with her so they could help her progress.  But there is still a month for her baptism so I think they have time to get ready to help their daughter make the covanants that she wants to make.

The other cool thing about this week was Elder Nelson.  He came to our mission today!  We got up SUPER early and he let EACH of us shake his hand.  That was pretty fun!  I love meeting the apostles, you can feel their love and you can feel that they really are apostles of God.  I really like what Elder Nelson had to say.  He talked about good pure doctrine.  And every time he said the word he sighed like the good pure doctrine was a nice cool cup of water in a desert.  He talked about ten different points that we as missionaries should be aware of.  It kind of changed my point of view on how I see the truth.  The truth can be pure and real.  It does not have to be complicated. 

The one that I really liked though was his wife's talk.  It was great!  She talked about how she wishes that we could have a dvd player of our pre-earth life.  She told us that we were with God before, and we learned.  She told us that we have been working on the doctrine of Christ for a lot longer than just here on earth.  It makes me realize how excited we had to have been to be able to come and try out faith, repentance, making and keeping covenants, and enduring to the end in real bodies, with all of their imperfections, and crazy emotions. This plan really is a lot bigger than we think it is! 

I love you all so much! I just feel so weird about all of the emotions I feel ...  I had a moment today where I just felt overwhelmed. I felt totally confused. I could not sleep, I was just kind of walking around the house in complete shock.  I wish I could explain all of the crazy things that I was thinking.  There is so much going on.  So I decided to try to organize and sort through my emotions, because they were going crazy.  Even though there aren't BAD things happening to me, I felt a little attacked all the sudden by such extreme emotions.  But then I thought of something better ... 

I dropped on my knees. I told God that I wanted Him to take away the stress, the fear, the doubts, the anxiety, and the worry.  I asked Him to leave the love, the hope, and the faith.  I wanted Him to leave the love for my family, the love for my comps, and the love for all of these people in Chile.  I told Him that I wanted Him to leave the hope of beautiful adventures to come, and to leave the faith that God will continue to care for the people that I love here, and that He will continue to take care of me.  It is funny because I am just going through what all of His missionaries have gone through before, and I'm just one silly little worried missionary.  But, thanks to a loving Heavenly Father who did exactly what He said He would do, and took the time to carry me through His Son's Atonement, I am feeling calm.  I am confident it will still hurt to leave here, but I am also confident that He will carry me through. 

I don`t know much, but here are the things I DO know:  God lives!!  He really does love us!  He has a beautiful covenant path that takes us right back to His arms, and one of the best parts of that path are the beautiful people that we get to know along the way.  And, the blessing of knowing that I NEVER have to leave some of them behind forever, but have the hope of seeing them again!  I know I love Chile and I know that I am going to miss it with all of my heart.  I know I am going to have a couple of nights of just crying, but I know that God loves these people and He is very AWARE of each of them!  I know that I have changed, and that there is NO going back!  Chile has changed my heart forever!  I know that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real even if I am just an overreactive girl who can`t seem to figure out what to do with all of the emotions in her emotion box. 

:-) 

I love you all so much!  Thanks for the emails and the support!  There really is NOTHING sweeter than enjoying my eternal family NOW!  I will see you all soon!!!!! 

I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hermana Webb

(bummer! For the last time!)